The Life I Choose: What People Don't See Behind My Smile | Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

🩷Angila Venus YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

😇PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:
https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/19PuKJPTff/

😈 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

___________________

The truth is, many of us are doing this life thing alone.

We don't have Mom and Dad's money.

We don't have a safety net waiting for us if everything falls apart.

Hell, many of us don't even have a retirement plan that we can confidently depend on.

Many of us are raising children, working sixteen-hour days, running on caffeine and a prayer, and somehow waking up the next morning and doing it all over again.

And I think sometimes people forget just how much some of us are carrying behind the scenes.

I know I do.

I don't get a lot of help.

I'm raising three children, and I'm also putting one of them through college.

And while I don't talk about the difficulties of my life very often, that doesn't mean they don't exist.

People see the smile.

They see the business.

They see the things I buy.

They see the food I put on my children's plates.

They see the confidence.

They see me continuing to show up.

What they don't always see is everything it takes for me to make all of that possible.

Sometimes, Even Getting to Work Is a Challenge

Where I live, we don't have a bus system that I can simply rely on to get my children where they need to go.

So I have to drive my kids to school.

I have to make sure they're ready in the morning, get them where they need to be, and make sure they're picked up in the afternoon.

School starts around 8 AM.

Then they need to be picked up around 3 PM.

That alone eliminates a huge number of traditional jobs for me.

There are jobs that simply aren't going to accommodate a parent who needs to leave to get their children to school in the morning and then leave again to pick them up in the afternoon.

You can't always use your lunch break to go pick up your children.

You can't always say, "I'm sorry, my child needs me," and expect an employer to rearrange the entire workday around your responsibilities.

And sometimes, being five minutes late because traffic was worse than expected or dropping your children off took a little longer than anticipated can be enough to create problems at work.

This is the reality for working parents.

You're expected to be a parent.

You're expected to be an employee.

You're expected to be available.

You're expected to be on time.

You're expected to perform.

You're expected to handle emergencies.

And somehow, you're supposed to make all of those responsibilities fit perfectly inside the same twenty-four hours.

It doesn't always work that way.

So I have had to build my life around flexibility.

I need work that allows me to take my children to school.

I need work that allows me to pick them up.

I need work that allows me to attend parent-teacher conferences.

I need work that allows me to take care of my children when life inevitably happens.

And that significantly limits the traditional workforce available to me.

That's something people don't necessarily see.

And Then There Is the Question of Money

Even if you find a job that accommodates your responsibilities, you still have to ask yourself:

How much does it actually pay?

Because surviving isn't the same thing as thriving.

Many single-parent households are under enormous financial pressure.

For some people, one job isn't enough.

Sometimes it's two jobs.

Sometimes it's three.

Sometimes it's four.

And then there are the people who aren't just trying to survive.

They're trying to get ahead.

They're trying to build something.

They're trying to create a future where they don't have to work themselves into the ground forever.

That's where I am.

I don't just want to survive.

I want to grow.

I want to expand.

I want to build an online business that can eventually become a significant source of income for me.

But building something requires investment.

Advertising costs money.

Business expenses cost money.

Growth costs money.

And sometimes, in order to create a better future, you have to take the money you could have spent on yourself today and put it into something that may not pay you back immediately.

You have to work the extra hours.

You have to take the extra shift.

You have to take the extra side gig.

And then you take that money and put it toward building the future you want.

You do it with the hope that your consistency will eventually create something bigger than what you have today.

That's the gamble I'm willing to take.

I'm Not Complaining

And I want to make this abundantly clear:

I'm not complaining.

I'm telling you the truth about my life.

There is a difference.

I love my life.

I genuinely do.

My life is chaotic.

It's exhausting.

It's demanding.

Sometimes I'm running on almost no sleep.

Sometimes I'm working sixteen-hour days.

Sometimes I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs to be done.

But I still love my life.

I wouldn't trade my children.

I wouldn't trade the life I've built.

I wouldn't trade the independence I've created.

And I wouldn't trade the feeling of knowing that I am responsible for my own life.

I'm not receiving government assistance.

I pay for my own food.

I pay my own rent.

I pay for my own medical expenses.

I pay for dental care out of pocket.

I pay for the things my children need.

I pay my bills.

I handle my responsibilities.

And I'm not saying that because I believe everyone else should live exactly the way I do.

I'm saying it because this is the life I chose.

I personally have a very strong desire to know that if something happens tomorrow, I have done everything within my power to create stability for myself and my children.

I don't want my children's ability to eat well, go to college, have opportunities, or live comfortably to depend entirely on someone else's willingness or ability to rescue us.

My children are my responsibility.

And I take that responsibility incredibly seriously.

I Don't Have a Village Waiting in the Wings

I don't have parents who can simply watch my children while I go out for a girls' night.

I don't have parents who can pick my kids up from school when I'm working.

I don't have someone who can randomly show up with a couple of home-cooked meals and say, "Go rest. I've got dinner tonight."

I don't have someone who can take over when I'm exhausted after working all day.

There isn't a magical village waiting for me at the end of the workday.

It's me.

And that's a reality I have had to accept.

But here's the thing:

I still do it.

I work.

I parent.

I build my business.

I take care of my home.

I make sure my children eat.

And I'm not feeding my children nothing but Roman noodles and macaroni and cheese because I'm too busy to cook.

My children eat real food.

They eat healthy, whole-food meals.

They eat steak.

They eat salmon.

They eat lobster.

They eat crab.

They eat the kinds of foods I want them to have because I care about their health and their quality of life.

And yes, that costs money.

Putting one of my children through college costs money.

Giving my children the kind of life I want them to have costs money.

Building a business costs money.

So I work.

A lot.

You See the Smile, But You Don't See the Weight

I think sometimes people look at me and assume that I've had an easy life.

Some people seem to think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.

And honestly, I understand why.

I smile a lot.

I don't constantly talk about my problems.

I don't walk around telling everyone how exhausted I am.

I don't make my struggles the centerpiece of my identity.

I can be having an incredibly difficult day and still smile.

I can be exhausted and still show up.

I can be overwhelmed and still make dinner.

I can be struggling and still believe that my future is going to be beautiful.

That's just how I'm wired.

But please don't mistake my ability to carry something for evidence that it isn't heavy.

It is heavy.

My life isn't easy.

It has never been as easy as some people assume it is.

I simply don't believe that my difficulties have to become the definition of my life.

I can acknowledge that something is hard without deciding that I am incapable of doing it.

And that distinction has become incredibly important to me.

Hyper-Independence Is Hard Too

I know that being hyper-independent isn't necessarily considered healthy by everyone.

And I understand why.

There is a difference between being independent and believing you should never need anyone.

I'm aware of that.

But I also believe there is tremendous value in knowing how to take care of yourself.

Because relying entirely on another person comes with its own risks.

People change.

Relationships change.

Circumstances change.

Jobs disappear.

Income changes.

Promises don't always get kept.

And institutions can change policies.

If your entire ability to feed your children or keep a roof over your head depends on something outside of your control, losing that support can put you in an incredibly difficult position.

That's why I want to know that I can take care of myself.

I want to know that I can work.

I want to know that I can adapt.

I want to know that I can create income.

I want to know that if life changes tomorrow, I can figure something out.

That's important to me.

Not because I think I'm better than anyone who needs help.

But because I want to know that I'm capable of helping myself.

You Choose Your Hard

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in life is that everything has a cost.

You choose your hard.

Working sixteen-hour days is hard.

Being exhausted is hard.

Working multiple jobs is hard.

Building a business while raising children is hard.

Being responsible for everything is hard.

But you know what else is hard?

Depending on someone who may eventually leave.

Being financially trapped is hard.

Having no savings is hard.

Being unable to afford opportunities for your children is hard.

Staying in the same place for ten years because you're afraid to sacrifice today is hard.

Having dreams and never pursuing them is hard.

You don't get a life without difficulty.

You get to choose which difficulties you're willing to endure.

And I choose mine.

I choose the extra hour.

I choose the extra shift.

I choose the side gig.

I choose to put money into advertising.

I choose to invest in my business.

I choose to work today so that hopefully I won't have to work this hard forever.

I choose to sacrifice certain comforts now because I believe my future is worth investing in.

I Have the Same Excuses Everyone Else Has

And I want to say something that may make some people uncomfortable.

I have excuses too.

I have health issues.

I'm tired.

I'm exhausted.

I struggle with depression and anxiety and other mental-health challenges.

There are days when I don't feel like doing anything.

There are days when getting out of bed feels harder than it should.

There are days when I am completely worn down.

I'm human.

I have the same reasons other people have for saying, "I can't."

The difference is that I have made a conscious decision not to allow those reasons to become the permanent explanation for why my life cannot change.

And I'm not saying that everyone has the same capacity.

I'm not saying that someone struggling should simply "work harder."

Life circumstances are different.

Disabilities are real.

Illness is real.

Caregiving is real.

Poverty is real.

Trauma is real.

Sometimes people genuinely need help.

I'm not dismissing any of that.

What I am saying is that I know myself.

And I know that, for me, if I constantly told myself why I couldn't, eventually I would believe myself.

So I choose to focus on what I can do.

Because I believe that I deserve better.

And more importantly, I believe that my children deserve better.

I'm Building Something That Doesn't Exist Yet

One of the reasons I work as hard as I do is because I'm thinking beyond today.

The money I spend on advertising today might not produce some enormous return tomorrow.

Maybe it doesn't.

Maybe I spend money and nothing spectacular happens immediately.

But I'm playing the long game.

Imagine what consistency can do over five years.

Imagine what it can do over ten.

Imagine building something year after year.

Creating content.

Growing an audience.

Building relationships with customers.

Improving your skills.

Investing in advertising.

Learning what works.

Learning what doesn't.

Doing it again.

And again.

And again.

That's how I think.

I don't need everything to pay off immediately.

I need to know that I'm moving forward.

Because someday, I want to look back at these exhausting years and realize that every extra hour mattered.

Every advertisement mattered.

Every sacrifice mattered.

Every late night mattered.

Every time I chose to keep going mattered.

My goal isn't to work sixteen-hour days forever.

My goal is to work this hard now so that I hopefully don't have to work this hard forever.

That's the difference.

I'm planting seeds.

And some seeds take years to become trees.

Sometimes You Have to Sacrifice the Present for the Future

I think we've become obsessed with immediate gratification.

We want the results now.

We want the money now.

We want the business now.

We want the dream life now.

But sometimes, if you want something different from what you currently have, you have to sacrifice something in the present.

You have to delay gratification.

You have to invest.

You have to work.

You have to be consistent when nobody is watching.

You have to keep going when the results aren't obvious yet.

And you have to believe that the woman you're becoming deserves the sacrifices the woman you are today is making.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm not working these hours because I enjoy being exhausted.

I'm working these hours because I have a vision.

I want abundance.

I want freedom.

I want financial stability.

I want to build something that belongs to me.

I want my children to have opportunities.

I want them to have healthy food.

I want to put my child through college.

I want to grow my business.

I want to be able to breathe a little easier someday.

And I know that none of those things happen by wishing for them.

They happen through action.

What Really Upsets Me

I'll be honest.

One of the things that frustrates me more than almost anything is watching people complain about their lives while refusing to make any constructive changes.

Not because I believe changing your life is easy.

I know it isn't easy.

I know exactly how hard it is.

But sometimes people become so attached to their reasons for why they can't change that they stop looking for ways they can.

And I understand that because I've been there too.

I've had every excuse.

I've been tired.

I've been depressed.

I've been overwhelmed.

I've been financially stressed.

I've had responsibilities pulling me in ten different directions.

I've had moments where I could have said, "This is too much."

But I also have a vision for my life.

And that vision matters to me.

I know that the sacrifices I'm making today can potentially create opportunities tomorrow.

I know that every dollar I put back into my business is an investment in something I'm trying to build.

I know that every extra hour I work is helping me create the life I want.

And perhaps most importantly:

I know I'm worthy of having that life.

I Don't Think I'm Superhuman

Sometimes I honestly don't know how I do it.

I don't know how I function on the amount of sleep I sometimes get.

I don't know how I can work for sixteen hours and then come home and still have the energy to cook.

I don't know how I can be exhausted and still sit down and work on my business.

I don't know how I can carry the responsibilities of motherhood, work, finances, business, and everyday life and still wake up the next morning and say:

Okay. Let's do it again.

But I do.

Because my children need me.

Because I have dreams.

Because I have responsibilities.

Because I want more.

And because somewhere inside of me, there is this incredibly stubborn belief that my future can be better than my present.

That belief has carried me through a lot.

My Children Come First

At the end of the day, everything comes back to my children.

I take motherhood very seriously.

My children are not an inconvenience standing between me and the life I want.

They are part of the life I want.

They are the reason I work as hard as I do.

They are the reason I care about creating financial stability.

They are the reason I make sure there is healthy food on the table.

They are the reason I'm willing to sacrifice.

I don't want my children to inherit my exhaustion.

I want them to inherit the opportunities I create from it.

That's a very different thing.

I don't want them to look at their childhood and remember a mother who was constantly complaining about how hard everything was.

I want them to remember a mother who worked.

A mother who loved them.

A mother who showed up.

A mother who made things happen.

A mother who didn't have all the answers but kept moving anyway.

A mother who taught them that life can be difficult without being hopeless.

This Is My Truth

So when you look at my life from the outside, you might see a woman who has it all together.

You might see someone who is confident.

Someone who is independent.

Someone who has nice things.

Someone who feeds her children well.

Someone who is building a business.

Someone who smiles.

And you might assume that it all came easily.

It didn't.

There is a tremendous amount of work happening behind that smile.

There are long hours.

There is exhaustion.

There are sacrifices.

There are bills.

There are responsibilities.

There are moments of doubt.

There are days when I am running on caffeine and prayer.

But there is also something else.

There is choice.

I choose to keep going.

I choose to work.

I choose to build.

I choose to invest.

I choose to provide.

I choose to create.

I choose to believe.

And I choose to love the life I have while simultaneously working toward the life I want.

That's an important distinction.

I don't have to hate my present in order to build my future.

I can be grateful for what I have and still want more.

I can love my chaotic life and still work toward making it easier.

I can be exhausted and still be proud.

I can acknowledge that something is hard without deciding that it's impossible.

I Know My Future Is Bright

It takes a strong person to look at the cards they've been dealt and decide to play them anyway.

It takes strength to have little outside help and still keep going.

It takes strength to raise children, work, pay the bills, build a business, maintain a home, provide healthy meals, attend school meetings, handle emergencies, and somehow still find a reason to smile.

And it takes an incredible amount of faith to look at all of that and say:

My future is still going to be beautiful.

That's where I am.

I don't know exactly what my life will look like ten years from now.

But I know what I'm building toward.

I want freedom.

I want abundance.

I want financial stability.

I want a thriving business.

I want more time.

I want to be able to look back at these years and know that the sacrifices were worth it.

I want to know that all those late nights, all those extra hours, all those advertisements, all those side gigs, all those moments when I was completely exhausted but kept going...

meant something.

And I believe they will.

Maybe not tomorrow.

Maybe not next month.

Maybe not even next year.

But I'm playing the long game.

Because sometimes the life you dream about requires you to become the woman capable of creating it.

And that's what I'm doing.

I'm becoming her.

So no, my life isn't easy.

It never has been.

But it's mine.

And I love it.

I love my children.

I love the life I've built.

I love the independence I've created.

I love the woman I'm becoming.

And I refuse to let anyone look at the results of my hard work and assume there was no struggle behind them.

There was.

There is.

And there probably always will be some kind of struggle in life.

But I've learned something:

You don't need an easy life to have a beautiful one.

Sometimes you simply need enough faith to keep moving when the road is difficult.

Enough courage to make sacrifices today.

Enough discipline to keep planting seeds when you can't see the tree yet.

And enough self-worth to believe that the future you're working toward is actually possible.

I have that faith.

I have that courage.

I have that love.

And I have my children.

So I'll keep working.

I'll keep building.

I'll keep sacrificing where I need to.

I'll keep investing in my future.

I'll keep putting healthy food on my children's plates.

I'll keep paying the bills.

I'll keep growing my business.

I'll keep showing up.

And I'll keep smiling.

Because beneath that smile is a woman who has carried more than most people will ever know...

and somehow, after everything,

she still believes her best days are ahead of her.

And that woman is me.

Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

☎️ 1-229-45VENUS 2.00 a min billed to your credit card.

😇Angila Venus flagship YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm 

😇🥰PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook personal page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEE9GojG2/

Facebook business page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/194bW3L6PQ/

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing

https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

😈 Instagram:

Https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

#AngilaVenus #Scorpio

Three Things I Think We Need to Stop Teaching in Spirituality | Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

🩷Angila Venus YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

😇PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:
https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/19PuKJPTff/

😈 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

___________________

When I first found spirituality, it genuinely changed my life.

It saved me in more ways than I can count.

Before spirituality, the only framework I really understood was fundamental Christianity, and for me, that framework became intertwined with a lot of the mental and emotional struggles I experienced.

Spirituality gave me another lens.

It allowed me to look at life differently. To question things. To explore my own consciousness. To understand myself in ways I hadn't been taught to before.

And for that, I will always be grateful.

But as with anything that becomes popular, I think spirituality has evolved in ways that aren't always healthy.

Everyone has a podcast now. Everyone has a platform. Everyone has an opinion. And unfortunately, having a microphone doesn't necessarily mean having wisdom.

I've watched certain ideas become increasingly popular within spiritual spaces that, in my opinion, are actually taking us further away from the heart of spirituality.

So I want to talk about three things I think we need to reconsider.

1. We need to stop turning spirituality into an excuse not to help people.

I feel like spirituality has become increasingly narcissistic.

When I first entered the spiritual community, there was much more emphasis on compassion, community, helping one another, and doing the best we could on our individual journeys.

Now I'm seeing people being taught:

"Don't save someone. You might be interfering with their karma."

Or:

"You don't know what lesson they're supposed to learn."

And honestly?

Sometimes a flat tire is just a flat tire.

Sometimes someone doesn't need a cosmic lesson.

Sometimes they just need help.

Maybe somebody is living paycheck to paycheck and their tire blows out on the freeway.

Maybe someone is struggling to buy groceries that week.

Maybe a single mother needs someone to watch her children for a few hours so she can breathe.

Not every difficult circumstance needs to be analyzed through the lens of karma.

Sometimes the opportunity to help someone is your lesson.

I don't believe we're supposed to repeatedly rescue people who refuse to take responsibility for their own lives.

I've learned boundaries. I've learned that I cannot pour from an empty cup. I've learned that I shouldn't put myself into financial or emotional distress trying to save everyone around me.

But I've also learned something else:

I only help from my overflow.

If I can help you without putting myself into a bind, and I feel called to help you, I'm going to help you.

Why?

Because maybe the reason you crossed my path was simply because I was in a position to be a blessing.

Over the past seven years of being a single mother, there have been moments when I needed help.

Thankfully, my parents didn't sit there wondering whether helping me would interfere with my karma.

They looked at me, saw that I was doing everything I could, and helped me when they were able.

And I will never forget that.

Because I've experienced what it feels like to be helped, I try to extend that same grace to other people when I'm capable of doing so.

There is a difference between enabling someone and helping someone.

Spirituality should teach us how to recognize that difference - not teach us to become indifferent to suffering.

2. We need to stop telling people, "Nobody is coming to save you."

I don't believe that's true.

I've been saved too many times in my own life to believe it.

I believe the Divine often works through people.

The Most High isn't necessarily going to descend from the heavens and change your tire when you're stranded on the side of the road.

But perhaps the Most High sends someone who does.

That distinction matters to me.

I've experienced moments in my own life where another human being became the hands and feet of something greater than themselves.

I've watched it happen to other people, too.

I've watched single mothers struggle for years and then unexpectedly meet someone who genuinely loved them, loved their children, provided for their family, and gave them the opportunity to breathe again. Turned a single mother into a loved and cherished housewife, who could focus on resting in her femininity and loving her children. 

I've watched people experience opportunities that completely changed the trajectory of their lives.

I've watched people receive help at exactly the moment they needed it and that help essentially saved them.

I've watched people go from poverty to abundance.

I've watched people leave unhealthy situations because someone, somewhere, opened a door for them.

These things happen.

And I don't think believing that makes us weak.

I think there is something incredibly powerful about believing that you are worthy of being saved.

Of course, we should still be responsible.

Don't put yourself in dangerous situations assuming someone will magically rescue you.

Don't stop planning.

Don't stop working toward your goals.

Don't abandon personal responsibility.

But don't convince yourself that you are completely alone in this world, either.

Because you aren't.

Sometimes the person who saves you is a stranger.

Sometimes it's a friend.

Sometimes it's your family.

Sometimes it's a partner.

Sometimes it's an unexpected opportunity.

Sometimes it's money arriving at exactly the right time.

Sometimes it's simply one door opening when every other door has closed.

I don't know what form my own rescue will take when I need it.

Maybe it will come through a person.

Maybe it will come through an opportunity.

Maybe it will come through financial abundance.

I don't know.

But I refuse to believe that I am unworthy of being saved or that no one is coming to save me.

I am worthy of being saved.

And so are you.

3. We need to stop teaching people that negative emotions are spiritually "bad."

This one really bothers me.

We're human.

We're going to experience the entire spectrum of human emotion.

We're going to feel joy.

We're going to feel grief.

We're going to feel anger.

We're going to feel fear.

We're going to feel jealousy.

We're going to feel overwhelmed.

We're going to feel heartbroken.

We're going to have days when we're radiant and grateful and days when we're barely holding ourselves together.

That's being human.

And especially considering the world we're living in right now, I think it's unrealistic - and frankly unhealthy - to expect people to maintain some permanently elevated state of happiness.

I've seen spirituality turn into this strange form of toxic positivity where people are afraid to admit they're angry because they think anger will "lower their vibration."

They're afraid to cry because they think sadness is spiritually unhealthy.

They're afraid to admit they're struggling because they're worried that acknowledging their pain means they're manifesting more of it.

No.

You are allowed to be human.

You are allowed to be angry.

You are allowed to be sad.

You are allowed to grieve.

You are allowed to have difficult emotions.

You are allowed to struggle with your mental health.

The goal isn't to eliminate every uncomfortable emotion.

The goal is to understand your emotions.

There is a difference between feeling anger and allowing anger to destroy your life.

There is a difference between sadness and surrendering your entire life to sadness.

There is a difference between acknowledging your pain and allowing your pain to become your identity.

We don't need to demonize our emotions.

We need to learn how to listen to them.

Sometimes anger is telling you that a boundary has been crossed.

Sometimes sadness is telling you that something mattered deeply to you.

Sometimes jealousy is revealing an unmet desire.

Sometimes fear is showing you where you need healing.

Your emotions aren't necessarily your enemy.

Sometimes they're messengers.

And I think spirituality becomes much healthier when we stop trying to transcend our humanity and instead learn how to become more conscious within it.

I still love spirituality.

I still believe it can transform lives.

It transformed mine.

But I don't think spirituality should make us less compassionate.

It shouldn't make us afraid of our emotions.

It shouldn't convince us that helping someone is interfering with their karma.

And it shouldn't convince us that we're completely alone and that nobody will ever come to help us.

I think spirituality, at its best, should make us more human.

More compassionate.

More self-aware.

More responsible.

More loving.

More capable of sitting with our own darkness without becoming consumed by it.

And maybe most importantly -

more willing to reach our hands out to one another when someone needs help.

Because sometimes you're the person who needs the hand.

And sometimes you're the person who gets to be the hand.

Both are sacred.

All my love,

Angie 🖤✨

My aching heart | Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

🩷Angila Venus YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

😇PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:

https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/19PuKJPTff/

😈 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

___________________

My heart feels incredibly heavy today.

There is so much happening in the skies astrologically, and as spiritual people, we understand the old wisdom:

As above, so below.

Sometimes the energy moving through us is asking us to release what we've been carrying- to shed old pain, old patterns, old versions of ourselves - so we can step into the next chapter lighter, stronger, more vibrant, and more healed than we were before.

But today, I can't help feeling the weight of more than just my own life.

I'm carrying my own personal struggles, the things I've been moving through that have deeply affected my mental and emotional health, but I'm also carrying the grief of watching what is happening in the world around me.

Sometimes I genuinely don't understand humanity.

I struggle to understand how someone can spend $400,000 on a designer handbag while another human being is wondering how they're going to feed their children.

How can we live in a world where luxury exists on such an enormous scale while people are sleeping hungry?

Where children are fighting cancer and their parents are forced to sell everything they own just to afford the treatment that might save their baby's life.

Where human trafficking exists.

That one breaks something inside of me.

As a woman and a mother, there are certain things I simply cannot hear about without feeling them somewhere deep in my soul.

And then there is power.

Oligarchs. Corruption. Fascism. Systems built around greed and control. Men fighting over power and influence while ordinary families are simply trying to put food on the table and make it through another month.

Decisions are made at the highest levels of society, and somehow the consequences so often fall on the people with the least power to absorb them.

Sometimes I look at this world and think:

I don't understand any of this.

I genuinely feel like my soul doesn't belong here.

I've often wondered why I incarnated into this particular world, during this particular time, and what exactly I'm supposed to be doing here.

I still don't have all the answers.

Maybe none of us do.

But perhaps we're not here to understand everything.

Perhaps we're here to feel deeply without allowing the darkness to consume us.

To remain soft in a world that constantly tells us to become hard.

To remain compassionate when compassion feels exhausting.

To help where we can.

To love where we can.

To become little pockets of light in places that feel unbearably dark.

So although my heart feels heavy today, I'm trying to trust the process.

I'm trying to believe that everything being stirred up within the collective is asking to be released.

That this energetic clearing is making room for something different.

Something healthier.

Something more conscious.

Something more compassionate.

Something more human.

Perhaps we are collectively shedding an old version of ourselves.

And perhaps, when this chapter is over, we'll look back and realize that the things being brought to the surface were meant to be healed all along.

So tonight, I'm giving myself permission to feel it.

The grief.

The anger.

The exhaustion.

The love.

The hope.

All of it.

And I'm sending a little prayer into the collective:

May we become softer without becoming weaker.

May we become stronger without becoming cruel.

May we remember that every human being deserves dignity, safety, food, shelter, and love.

And may whatever needs to be released finally leave us.

If we're truly moving into a new chapter, then may we enter it lighter than we were before.

More conscious.

More compassionate.

More awake.

More human.

As above, so below.

Namaste. 🕊️✨

Angila Venus

A word from Auntie Angie to my beautiful and deserving ladies | Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

🩷Angila Venus YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

😇PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:
https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/19PuKJPTff/

😈 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

___________________

Ladies, I want to tell you something from a place of love - not judgment. ❤️

I have a date tonight with a male CEO who literally flew all the way from Eastern Canada to see me and take me out.

He made the reservations.

He arranged the car service.

He planned the evening.

He made the effort.

And before anyone says, “Well, he has money,” that's not actually my point.

My point is intentionality.

When a man genuinely wants to see you, he doesn't make you solve the mystery of whether he's interested.

You don't have to decode three-word texts.

You don't have to stare at your phone wondering why he left you on read.

You don't have to convince yourself that ghosting is actually "him being scared of his feelings."

You don't have to spend your nights wondering where you stand.

And you certainly shouldn't have to beg a man to treat you like someone he values.

Ladies...

If he wanted to, he would.

Not always perfectly. Not every man has the same resources, personality, schedule, or circumstances.

But a man who genuinely values you will find some way to demonstrate that value through his actions.

He will make an effort.

He will communicate.

He will show up.

He will make room for you.

He will make you feel wanted instead of constantly wondering whether you are.

And if the only time he contacts you is when he wants sex?

Baby...

That's information.

If he repeatedly disappears and comes back when it's convenient for him?

That's information.

If you're always initiating, always chasing, always forgiving, always waiting, always hoping, always trying to convince him to give you the bare minimum?

That's information too.

And this is where I want to talk to the women who come to me wanting love spells.

I understand you.

I really do.

Because I've been you.

I've chased love.

I've waited for love.

I've been absolutely consumed by men who chose everyone but me.

I've desperately wanted someone to finally see my worth.

And yes...

I've even cast spells trying to make someone come back.

So I am NOT standing here judging you.

I'm standing here saying:

I've been there.

And I wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and said:

"Baby, stop trying to convince someone to love you."

Because here's the hard truth:

No spell in the world can create the kind of genuine, healthy love you're actually looking for.

You can influence energy.

You can create opportunities.

You can work on yourself.

You can heal.

You can perform rituals that help YOU shift your mindset and circumstances.

But you cannot manufacture genuine devotion inside someone who has already shown you that they don't want to give it.

And honestly?

If you're having to desperately manipulate, chase, beg, or spiritually drag someone back into your life just to get them to treat you well...

That's not the love story you think it is.

Sometimes the spell you need isn't the one that brings him back.

Sometimes the spell is the one that finally makes you stop wanting him back.

Because ask yourself:

Why are you trying so desperately to make someone who treats you badly suddenly become the man you wish he were?

Why are you trying to convince someone to see your value when there are people who will see it without being persuaded?

Why are you spending your money trying to resurrect a relationship that already showed you what it was?

And most importantly...

Why are you willing to accept crumbs from someone when you know damn well you deserve the whole damn meal?

I say this with so much love.

Please stop making a man's lack of effort into a reflection of your worth.

His inability - or unwillingness - to love you properly does not mean you're unlovable.

It means he isn't the person who is showing up for you.

And those are two VERY different things.

You don't need to become prettier.

You don't need to become sexier.

You don't need to lose weight.

You don't need to be more submissive.

You don't need to be more mysterious.

You don't need to perform some magical feminine dance to convince a man to value you.

You need to stop auditioning for a role you were never meant to beg for.

The man who wants you will still have flaws.

He'll still be human.

He'll still have bad days.

He won't always say the perfect thing.

But you won't constantly have to wonder whether he gives a damn.

His actions will tell you.

And ladies, please remember this:

The goal isn't to find a man who can be magically forced to stay.

The goal is to become so deeply rooted in your own worth that you can look at someone who isn't treating you properly and say:

"I love you. I wish you well. But this isn't enough for me."

And walk away.

That's power.

That's healing.

That's self-respect.

So yes...

Tonight I'm getting dressed for a date with a man who flew across the country to see me.

And I'm grateful.

Not because a wealthy man chose me.

But because his effort is a beautiful reminder of something I've had to learn the hard way:

I don't have to chase someone who is already running toward me.

And neither do you. ❤️

You are not the woman begging to be chosen.

You are the woman who gets to decide who deserves access to you.

Please remember that.

And if nobody has told you lately:

Wake up, gorgeous.

You are worth more than the man who leaves you on read.

You are worth more than the man who only calls when he's horny.

You are worth more than inconsistent affection.

You are worth more than being someone's option.

And you are absolutely worth more than spending your hard-earned money trying to convince someone to love you.

Sometimes the greatest love spell you can cast...

is the one that brings you back to yourself. ✨❤️

Remember: YOU ARE WORTHY OF A MAN WHO PUTS IN THE EFFORT.  And not just when he wants something from you. 

Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

☎️ 1-229-45VENUS 2.00 a min billed to your credit card.

🩷 Website:

www.angilavenus.com

😇Angila Venus flagship YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

🌸 Second channel

https://youtube.com/@angilavenusreiki1111?si=DZX9KgMsaIzdk3CR

😇🥰PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook personal page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEE9GojG2/

Facebook business page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/194bW3L6PQ/

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing

https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

😈 Instagram:

Https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

🌸 Copyright free meditation music

https://www.fiverr.com/s/lj1kEb2

#AngilaVenus #Scorpio

I Am Entering the Season of Angie | Angila Venus

I think I've spent most of my life creating beautiful moments for everyone else.

I celebrate birthdays. I buy Christmas presents. I take people out to dinner. I love making other people feel loved, seen, celebrated, and important.

Being thoughtful comes naturally to me...

But being thoughtful toward myself never has.

I've spent years pouring from my own cup until there was almost nothing left.

Not anymore.

I truly believe I am entering the season of Angie.

For the past six years, I've been walking through one of the darkest seasons of my life.

The false twin flame connection I found myself in nearly destroyed me.

Three years of yearning.

Three years of obsession.

Three years of waiting for someone who wasn't choosing me.

If it weren't for my children... I honestly don't know if I would still be here.

Then came two more years.

Not of longing...

But of letting go.

The anger.

The grief.

The rage.

It completely consumed me.

I've never experienced emotions that intense before.

Every year since then, I feel like I've gotten a little healthier.

A little softer.

A little more like myself again.

And now...

I think it's finally my time.

I've always believed in divine timing.

Looking back, I find it fascinating that I finally released my false twin flame chapter during a 9 Year - a year of endings - so that I could step into this year as a blank canvas.

A new beginning.

A chance to recreate myself.

A chance to become the woman I was always meant to be.

These days, my children are thriving.

They're well cared for.

They have good food, good schools, dental appointments, the newest electronics, and a mother who absolutely adores them.

Watching them flourish has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.

For the first time...

I finally feel like it's okay to invest in myself, too.

I've been honest with all of you about my weight gain.

The truth is, those two years of letting go of my false twin flame were some of the hardest years I've ever lived through. The rage,  the anger consumed me. 

Food became comfort.

I was raising three children alone.

Working multiple jobs.

Trying to survive emotionally while still showing up every day as a mother.

Food became the one place where I could temporarily escape the pain.

But that chapter is over now.

When I look in the mirror today, I don't just see extra weight.

I see grief.

I see heartbreak.

I see the physical reminder of the darkest season I've ever survived.

And I don't want to carry that version of myself anymore.

Not because I hate her...

But because she deserves to be set free.

I'm in such a healthier place now.

Mind.

Body.

Soul.

I feel like I've found the sweet Angie again.

The one who was buried beneath years of trauma, rage, and heartbreak.

I've also been open with all of you about my mental health.

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, and ASPD has been its own journey.

But these past six years of healing, spirituality, meditation, gratitude, self-love rituals, and intentionally changing the way I speak to myself have transformed me.

I give myself grace now.

I protect my peace.

I choose kinder thoughts.

I've created a life that breathes life into me instead of stealing it.

Looking back, I used to carry so much shame.

I was angry with myself for the choices I made.

I was angry that I kept choosing someone who wasn't choosing me.

I blamed myself.

But today...

I understand.

That path was necessary.

Without it, I wouldn't be this woman.

Without the heartbreak, I never would have found my healing.

Without the pain, I never would have met myself.

So this year, I'm choosing me.

For years I've dreamed about investing in my health, but I always found a reason to put myself last.

Not this time.

I've already gone through the medical process, completed the blood work, received my prescription, and next week I begin my weight-loss medication. After a 4,000 dollar investment in doctors, and blood tests,  I have been approved for Ozempic. The Ozempic medication itself is going to be a 2,000 dollar monthly investment and then a 1,500 dollar investment every six months for follow up appointments and blood tests.

It's a significant investment.

But so am I.

I've also made another decision that I've wanted to make for years.

I've invested in ketamine therapy, I paid for 10 sessions in advance and that came up to 5,000. It'll be intravenous Ketamine sessions with a doctor and staff. 

My first session begins in just over a week.

Healing isn't always free.

Sometimes it costs money.

Sometimes it costs pride.

Sometimes it costs letting go of the version of yourself you've outgrown.

But I finally love myself enough to believe I'm worth every penny.

And that's something I never thought I'd be able to say.

I'm also investing in my future.

I'm learning YouTube.

I'm learning marketing.

I'm building multiple streams of income.

I'm building a business that will outlive me.

Not because I want more...

But because I want the freedom to GIVE more.

To my children.

To my future.

To people who need a helping hand.

This year isn't about chasing someone else's love.

It isn't about proving my worth.

It isn't about waiting for someone to choose me.

This year...

I choose me.

I choose my health.

I choose my peace.

I choose my body.

I choose my mind.

I choose my dreams.

I choose my future.

I spent years pouring into everyone else's cup.

Now it's finally time to fill my own.

Because the truth is...

The more whole I become, the more I have to give.

And I have a feeling...

The best version of Angie is only just beginning.

I love you 😍 💋 

Angie

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

☎️ 1-229-45VENUS 2.00 a min billed to your credit card.

🩷 Website:

www.angilavenus.com

😇Angila Venus flagship YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

🌸 Second channel

https://youtube.com/@angilavenusreiki1111?si=DZX9KgMsaIzdk3CR

😇🥰PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook personal page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEE9GojG2/

Facebook business page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/194bW3L6PQ/

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:

https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

😈 Instagram:

Https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

🌸 Copyright free meditation music

https://www.fiverr.com/s/lj1kEb2

#AngilaVenus #Scorpio

The Woman I Hope to Become | Angila Venus

I've been meaning to write this blog for quite some time, but I've been navigating some mental health struggles, and I just haven't been in the right headspace to put these thoughts into words.

Tonight feels different.

Tonight, I finally can.

People often ask me who I look up to. Who inspires me. Who I strive to become.

I think most people expect me to say someone like Bunny XO, Marilyn Monroe, or another beautiful Hollywood icon.

And I just want to say... I do admire those women. They are strong, confident, and undeniably beautiful.

But no.

That isn't my answer.

The woman I admire most is Mother Teresa.

I know that probably makes some people laugh. On the surface, it doesn't seem to fit the woman they see online.

But it's the truth.

The older I become, the less interested I am in perfecting my appearance, and the more interested I become in perfecting my heart.

Don't misunderstand me - I still take incredibly good care of myself. I enjoy beauty. I enjoy femininity. I enjoy dressing well and expressing myself.

But I'm aging.

I'm raising children.

I'm putting them through college.

Life has shifted my perspective.

I think becoming the next Marilyn Monroe is a younger woman's dream.

Mine is different.

My dream is to leave this world gentler than I found it.

For years now, quietly and without anyone knowing, I've tried to be a blessing whenever I could.

I've bought Christmas presents for children whose parents couldn't afford them.

I've paid electric bills that were about to be shut off.

I've helped cover rent for families on the verge of losing their homes.

Not because I wanted recognition...

But because somewhere deep inside me, that's where my heart has always belonged.

I've realized something.

Beauty fades.

Youth fades.

We all grow older.

But a beautiful heart...

A generous spirit...

A compassionate soul...

Those things never lose their beauty.

If people remember me one day, I don't want it to be because they thought I was beautiful.

Truthfully, I've never really seen myself that way.

I know much of that comes from how I was raised, and maybe that's a wound I'll spend my life healing.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped chasing the kind of beauty I could never convince myself I possessed.

Instead, I began nurturing the one thing I have always believed was beautiful...

My heart.

Because if I can leave someone feeling seen...

If I can lessen someone's suffering...

If I can remind another human being that they are worthy...

Then I have lived a life that mattered.

Tonight, during my prayers, I whispered something to my Goddess.

"Give to me, so that I may give to others.

Bless me, so that I may become a blessing.

Fill my cup until it overflows, so I may pour from my abundance into empty hands and aching hearts."

Because I don't dream of becoming the most beautiful woman in the room.

I dream of becoming the woman whose kindness outlives her beauty.

The woman whose generosity echoes long after she's gone.

The woman people remember not because she was admired...

But because she loved.

👑 Private readings and spell work:

AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

☎️ 1-229-45VENUS 2.00 a min billed to your credit card.

🩷 Website:

www.angilavenus.com

😇Angila Venus flagship YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

🌸 Second channel

https://youtube.com/@angilavenusreiki1111?si=DZX9KgMsaIzdk3CR

😇🥰PayPal AND Email:

angievenus1111@yahoo.com

Venmo @GondoraOfficial

Cashapp $Gondora

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook personal page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEE9GojG2/

Facebook business page:

https://www.facebook.com/share/194bW3L6PQ/

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:

https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

😈 Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

🌸 Copyright free meditation music

https://www.fiverr.com/s/lj1kEb2

#AngilaVenus #Scorpio

I've never been good at being vulnerable | Angila Venus

Time to get a little vulnerable... I suppose...

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t carry regret.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t look back at certain decisions and wish I could reach through time and hold that version of me by the face and tell her to choose differently.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wrestle with shame.

So much hurt in this body.

So much grief.

So many wounds I’m still learning how to carry.

There are days I feel disposable.

Like a throwaway.

Like everyone else got the handbook to life and I missed the chapter.

There are days I feel like a failure.

Days I wish my life looked different.

Days I ache for support in ways I don’t even know how to explain.

And if I’m being honest -

there are moments I look at my children and wonder if they deserved someone softer, stronger, less wounded.

That thought breaks my heart.

Many nights I lie awake imagining another life.

A quiet life.

A soft life.

One where I don’t always have to survive.

One where I’m allowed to exhale.

Faith is what keeps me moving.

Not because life has been easy.

But because somewhere inside me there is still a woman who refuses to believe this is all there is.

Faith that life can change.

Faith that love is real.

Faith that one day I won’t have to fight this hard for every ounce of peace.

I dream about resting.

Resting in softness.

Resting in safety.

Resting beside someone who kisses my forehead and tells me I don’t have to carry everything alone.

I dream of gentle touches.

Of being loved in ways that feel quiet instead of chaotic.

And I’ve dreamed of it for so long that sometimes I wonder if I made it up.

If maybe I’m chasing something that doesn’t exist.

But even then -

I still keep a light on.

Because maybe the fact that I still long for softness means I was never meant for suffering.

Maybe the ache itself is proof that somewhere, somehow -

there is more waiting for me than survival.

So until then -

I keep going.

One tired breath at a time.

And I keep believing that one day…

I’ll finally rest.

Angila Venus

👑 Private readings and spell work:
AngilaVenus.Etsy.com

☎️ 1-229-45VENUS 2.00 a min billed to your credit card.

🩷 Website:
www.angilavenus.com

😇Angila Venus flagship YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@angilavenus?si=Yn7MLVBkNgHsPwjm

🌸 Second channel
https://youtube.com/@angilavenusreiki1111?si=DZX9KgMsaIzdk3CR

😇🥰PayPal AND Email:
angievenus1111@yahoo.com
Venmo @GondoraOfficial
Cashapp $Gondora

🩵🩷Amazon wish list:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/U9552PAMOKBW?ref_=wl_share

🌛🌚🌜Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEE9GojG2/

🕯🪞🕯 Follow my Poetry and writing:
https://www.poetry.com/poet/Angila+Venus

😈 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/goddessangilavenus?igsh=MmE3Y21jaWF0c3Bp

🌸 Copyright free meditation music
https://www.fiverr.com/s/lj1kEb2

#AngilaVenus #Scorpio

🕯🪞🕯🌛🌚🌜