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___________________
When I first found spirituality, it genuinely changed my life.
It saved me in more ways than I can count.
Before spirituality, the only framework I really understood was fundamental Christianity, and for me, that framework became intertwined with a lot of the mental and emotional struggles I experienced.
Spirituality gave me another lens.
It allowed me to look at life differently. To question things. To explore my own consciousness. To understand myself in ways I hadn't been taught to before.
And for that, I will always be grateful.
But as with anything that becomes popular, I think spirituality has evolved in ways that aren't always healthy.
Everyone has a podcast now. Everyone has a platform. Everyone has an opinion. And unfortunately, having a microphone doesn't necessarily mean having wisdom.
I've watched certain ideas become increasingly popular within spiritual spaces that, in my opinion, are actually taking us further away from the heart of spirituality.
So I want to talk about three things I think we need to reconsider.
1. We need to stop turning spirituality into an excuse not to help people.
I feel like spirituality has become increasingly narcissistic.
When I first entered the spiritual community, there was much more emphasis on compassion, community, helping one another, and doing the best we could on our individual journeys.
Now I'm seeing people being taught:
"Don't save someone. You might be interfering with their karma."
Or:
"You don't know what lesson they're supposed to learn."
And honestly?
Sometimes a flat tire is just a flat tire.
Sometimes someone doesn't need a cosmic lesson.
Sometimes they just need help.
Maybe somebody is living paycheck to paycheck and their tire blows out on the freeway.
Maybe someone is struggling to buy groceries that week.
Maybe a single mother needs someone to watch her children for a few hours so she can breathe.
Not every difficult circumstance needs to be analyzed through the lens of karma.
Sometimes the opportunity to help someone is your lesson.
I don't believe we're supposed to repeatedly rescue people who refuse to take responsibility for their own lives.
I've learned boundaries. I've learned that I cannot pour from an empty cup. I've learned that I shouldn't put myself into financial or emotional distress trying to save everyone around me.
But I've also learned something else:
I only help from my overflow.
If I can help you without putting myself into a bind, and I feel called to help you, I'm going to help you.
Why?
Because maybe the reason you crossed my path was simply because I was in a position to be a blessing.
Over the past seven years of being a single mother, there have been moments when I needed help.
Thankfully, my parents didn't sit there wondering whether helping me would interfere with my karma.
They looked at me, saw that I was doing everything I could, and helped me when they were able.
And I will never forget that.
Because I've experienced what it feels like to be helped, I try to extend that same grace to other people when I'm capable of doing so.
There is a difference between enabling someone and helping someone.
Spirituality should teach us how to recognize that difference - not teach us to become indifferent to suffering.
2. We need to stop telling people, "Nobody is coming to save you."
I don't believe that's true.
I've been saved too many times in my own life to believe it.
I believe the Divine often works through people.
The Most High isn't necessarily going to descend from the heavens and change your tire when you're stranded on the side of the road.
But perhaps the Most High sends someone who does.
That distinction matters to me.
I've experienced moments in my own life where another human being became the hands and feet of something greater than themselves.
I've watched it happen to other people, too.
I've watched single mothers struggle for years and then unexpectedly meet someone who genuinely loved them, loved their children, provided for their family, and gave them the opportunity to breathe again. Turned a single mother into a loved and cherished housewife, who could focus on resting in her femininity and loving her children.
I've watched people experience opportunities that completely changed the trajectory of their lives.
I've watched people receive help at exactly the moment they needed it and that help essentially saved them.
I've watched people go from poverty to abundance.
I've watched people leave unhealthy situations because someone, somewhere, opened a door for them.
These things happen.
And I don't think believing that makes us weak.
I think there is something incredibly powerful about believing that you are worthy of being saved.
Of course, we should still be responsible.
Don't put yourself in dangerous situations assuming someone will magically rescue you.
Don't stop planning.
Don't stop working toward your goals.
Don't abandon personal responsibility.
But don't convince yourself that you are completely alone in this world, either.
Because you aren't.
Sometimes the person who saves you is a stranger.
Sometimes it's a friend.
Sometimes it's your family.
Sometimes it's a partner.
Sometimes it's an unexpected opportunity.
Sometimes it's money arriving at exactly the right time.
Sometimes it's simply one door opening when every other door has closed.
I don't know what form my own rescue will take when I need it.
Maybe it will come through a person.
Maybe it will come through an opportunity.
Maybe it will come through financial abundance.
I don't know.
But I refuse to believe that I am unworthy of being saved or that no one is coming to save me.
I am worthy of being saved.
And so are you.
3. We need to stop teaching people that negative emotions are spiritually "bad."
This one really bothers me.
We're human.
We're going to experience the entire spectrum of human emotion.
We're going to feel joy.
We're going to feel grief.
We're going to feel anger.
We're going to feel fear.
We're going to feel jealousy.
We're going to feel overwhelmed.
We're going to feel heartbroken.
We're going to have days when we're radiant and grateful and days when we're barely holding ourselves together.
That's being human.
And especially considering the world we're living in right now, I think it's unrealistic - and frankly unhealthy - to expect people to maintain some permanently elevated state of happiness.
I've seen spirituality turn into this strange form of toxic positivity where people are afraid to admit they're angry because they think anger will "lower their vibration."
They're afraid to cry because they think sadness is spiritually unhealthy.
They're afraid to admit they're struggling because they're worried that acknowledging their pain means they're manifesting more of it.
No.
You are allowed to be human.
You are allowed to be angry.
You are allowed to be sad.
You are allowed to grieve.
You are allowed to have difficult emotions.
You are allowed to struggle with your mental health.
The goal isn't to eliminate every uncomfortable emotion.
The goal is to understand your emotions.
There is a difference between feeling anger and allowing anger to destroy your life.
There is a difference between sadness and surrendering your entire life to sadness.
There is a difference between acknowledging your pain and allowing your pain to become your identity.
We don't need to demonize our emotions.
We need to learn how to listen to them.
Sometimes anger is telling you that a boundary has been crossed.
Sometimes sadness is telling you that something mattered deeply to you.
Sometimes jealousy is revealing an unmet desire.
Sometimes fear is showing you where you need healing.
Your emotions aren't necessarily your enemy.
Sometimes they're messengers.
And I think spirituality becomes much healthier when we stop trying to transcend our humanity and instead learn how to become more conscious within it.
I still love spirituality.
I still believe it can transform lives.
It transformed mine.
But I don't think spirituality should make us less compassionate.
It shouldn't make us afraid of our emotions.
It shouldn't convince us that helping someone is interfering with their karma.
And it shouldn't convince us that we're completely alone and that nobody will ever come to help us.
I think spirituality, at its best, should make us more human.
More compassionate.
More self-aware.
More responsible.
More loving.
More capable of sitting with our own darkness without becoming consumed by it.
And maybe most importantly -
more willing to reach our hands out to one another when someone needs help.
Because sometimes you're the person who needs the hand.
And sometimes you're the person who gets to be the hand.
Both are sacred.
All my love,
Angie 🖤✨
